Finish Your Collapse & Stay for Breakfast

Friend: Just talk to her, I mean you slept together.

Him:  Not like that.

Friend:  OK, so you shared a bed together, talking to her shouldn’t be such a big deal. I’m still surprised that nothing happened!

Him:  There’s a time and place.

Friend:  Oh shit! She coming towards you, I’m out.

Him:  Erm, I’d like to see you again.

Her:  That would be great.

Him:  Cool, then we should swap numbers or something.

Her:  Okay.

Him:  So, are you staying for breakfast? My man here’s cooked up a storm.

Her:  Uhm, no… No, I would love to but I have to go.

Him:  Go do what?

Her:  Excuse me?

Him:  Stay.

Her:  I don’t know.

Him:  Just stay, at least there’s something to do here. If not, we’ll think of something?

14/06/2011
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ABOUT: Christina Engela

Christina Engela is a fervent advocate of human rights and equality for all people, and also the proud owner of a warped sense of humour, and it shows. She lives in Port Elizabeth (where she enjoys watching birds fly backwards) – a tourist haven with an unhealthy preoccupation with apples and whose mascot symbol is a Jackass Penguin – which should give you some idea.

At school she was known for her quirky poetry and weird sense of humour, which came in handy while directing a school play (which involved, incidentally, 3 toilet rolls, a walkie-talkie and a hammer marked ‘exhibit A’).

After completing high school in 1991 at the tender age of 18, she enlisted in the Army (ordinary work being scarce at the time). In 1999 she qualified as a computer technician (A+) and moved into the network support environment, where she gathered a lot of experience in Conflict Resolution and Self Control – and using Solitaire to teach people How To Use The Mouse without inflicting self-injury. At almost the exact same time, she began her gender transition, and started living as a woman full-time in 2000.  In 2006, at long last, she was promoted to Female.

She writes across several genres, including sci-fi, fantasy and horror, writing most frequently about aliens, space ships, big explosions – and crypts, ghosts and vampires – often in the same books and in a way that makes all of these topics fit with each other without causing a melt-down or an inter-dimensional rift. She also enjoys sushi.

Her story settings include starship situations and planetary locations. Her favourite setting for her stories is on a planet called Deanna – which orbits a star called Ramalama, and which is orbited by two small mad little moons called Ding and Dong – where she expresses her own brand of fantasy combined with sci-fi.

For some reason, this location lends itself to what she calls “quantum-ness” and for creating the unique characters around which her stories flow. She loves to create characters and situations and to blend them with her past real life experiences and sometimes endearing (or not so endearing) parts of her real life acquaintances.

The Galaxii universe is set between 30 and 80 years in the future, possibly in a parallel dimension, where everything can be set right by a few characters with guts, heart and conscience – and an author with a warped sense of humour, a sharp pencil, even sharper wit, and a good sense of irony.

Two of her novels have recently been released by J. Ellington Ashton Press (JEA), with the first ‘Blachart’ appearing under JEA’s ‘Hardwired’ imprint in October 2014 and the second title in the series ‘Demonspawn’ in April 2015. The third title ‘Dead Beckoning’ is due out soon, with a string of others to follow.

Aside from the Galaxii Series, a growing number of Christina’s short stories also appear in various JEA anthologies (‘Autumn Burning’, ‘Inanna Rising’, ‘For Love of Leelah’). A children’s book by Christina, ‘Every Kid Is A Kid Almost Just Like You’, is also due for launch during 2015.

Keep in touch with Christina on: FacebookGoogle+Twitter ,Tsu , YouTubeGoodreadsTumblrLinkedInAcademia.eduLuluHei! BooksBooks Online DirectoryStumbleUponNothing Binding,  GliphoDilmotPintrest

Her short story, “I, Mac” will be featured in The #Coinage Book One – on sale November 2015.

 

 

 

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ABOUT: Nohlee Cloete

It never goes away. We just become strong enough to carry it, to let it change us for better or worse. The funeral was like any other; I cried a bit and laughed a bit, but more than anything, I grew.

– My Sister

NCloete-225x300Nohlee (pronounced: No-lee) Cloete was born on the 15 February 1993 in Eesterivier, Cape Town. She graduated high school at the age of 17 at Forest Heights High Schoo,l as one of the school’s top ten matriculants in 2010. She is enrolled at the University of The Western Cape for a bachelor’s degree in Education with the intention of spreading her love for literature as an English teacher.

The inspiration for the memoir titled My Sister was when her older sister, Jami, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and focuses on the emotional journey and sudden changes in her life during that time.

She lives with her mother, Rachel, her nephew, Alex, and her tuxedo cat named Cake. She dreams of travelling the world as an accomplished author and is currently working on her first novel during her spare time.

Her memoir is featured in The #Coinage Book One on sale here.

 

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Blackberryphilia (2010)… pt.3

previously…

Me: Hey
[beep]: (chewing) Hey.
Me: Eh, it’s Coin. I’m so effing stressed. Calisto’s dead, like remember in Jennifer’s Body where Chip said his mum was catatonic like a  zombie-mannequin-robot statue? Like that dead and what’s weird is that when he does come round, this really disturbing icon that’s not even in the manual shows.
[beep]: (chewing) uh…

Effing [beep]! Why’s he always chewing when he’s on the phone? And anyway, doesn’t “catatonic like a zombie mannequin robot statue” kinda sorta explain what’s happened? Argh! What an idiot!

Me: So, like, I was…

I took sip of the screw-driver and explained what happened – well, not exactly what happened, just the parts that [beep] needed to know – he’s the last person that needs to know that I have a mini-meltdown over a dumb-ass smartphone.
Me: What do you think it is? Do I like need a new battery or is it like totally kaput? Which would be like a real disaster because I have work and stuff and  I won’t have time to get a new phone or battery and I’m gonna miss all that stuff that I’m gonna miss.
[beep]: (laughs, almost chokes then continues chewing) FOMO much, Coinizzle? OK? Sounds like you just have to wipe the gold bits on the battery and your phone with one of those cotton buds and Bob’s your uncle.

Me: Are you serious? I hope you’re not like practical-joking me like on Modern Family.

[beep]: Nah, but it usually does the trick.

Me: OK, hold the line.

I hurried to the bathroom and looked in the mirror cabinet for cotton buds. There was one left. I took it out and dismantled Calisto and wiped the metal bits with
the cotton bud and tried switching the phone on.

Holy crap! If this works, I’m giving up alcohol for like two months, starting today.

Me: Well, I just did that and it’s rebooting, all right.

[beep]:(chewing) Sweet

Me: Anyway, while I wait, [beep], why are you always chewing? It’s kinda disturbing and creepy.

[beep]: To keep my blood sugar levels up.

DOH!

Me: Oh…

[beep]:(chewing)

Me: Anyway, looks like it’s working all right. Thanks.

[beep]: Aite, later.

Me: Co-

He hung up! That bum-rush! Can I still call him a bum-rush if he’s got low blood sugar? Anyway, LED light flashing red? I’m gonna need a drink.

– end –

 

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In Celebration of Women

Mother, wife, career-driven, call me multi-faceted. Gone are the days when we were confined, defined. Today I have the freedom to decide or not to decide. Today I have the freedom to choose or not to choose. Hi my name is Twenty First Century Woman and I am dimensional. This is a tribute and I am here to salute. Salute to the home-makers, care-givers, nurturers with opinions. To those mothers with diplomas and degrees, yet make those hearty home-made meals. Salute to those faithful wives who do not need help get to the top. Salute to the mothers killing it, non-stop. It is the twenty-first century, so why do I have to choose between the two? Educated, self-sufficient and independent don’t have to make me a male-bashing feminist or a lesbian.

My name is Twenty First Century Woman and I have the right to maternity leave. In the world I will lead, I will achieve and then go home and breastfeed. My name is Twenty First Century Woman and possess the ability provide, but I still want a man at home as my partner and the father of my child. A home with a king and queen, rather than a home with a king and his sub-human being.

My name is Twenty First Century Woman I believe in love, in family and even marriage, but don’t make me choose. I can be a mother, wife and a talented, passionate big-dreaming human too.

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