The funny thing is that it always starts the same. It feels like something new, a re-awakening of the soul, really. You tell people that you’ve never felt like this before or even that this one is different, but the truth is you have felt like that before – just with a different person – you’re just suppressing it because you wish you never met the previous person that you attached these emotions to –or not. Whichever way, for that glorious period, he or she is the cause of this incredible joy that, as always, you wish it would never end. Little things like, their scent, their touch and the way they carry out the most mundane tasks all of a sudden become fascinating and inspiring. Everything is surreal and as you wallow in this enamoured glow, you come to a conclusion that this is truly love.
Love can be cold and bitter yet blind, and blindness is the worst. One’s previous conclusion masks the cold and bitterness of the fact that it is love; you love this person and automatically feel loved. It is all warm and sweet until that first taste of bitter or that first chill, which subsequently fades as the warmth and sweetness appear – although not to their initial full effect that one is left reassured but now wondering and questioning. Unfortunately, since it is still love, the questions are posed to the wrong parties and the answers become speculation, which turns into fact. Facts that have always been true but masked, ignored and put in a box – never to opened. It is only until this box cannot hold anymore of these facts that the masks comes off and no matter how much one is consoled or told that this sort of this happens all the time to almost everyone or even how one could have not really known, that one feels alone, stupid and mostly cold and bitter.
It doesn’t matter how it actually starts – or what happens in-between – one could have secretly this another for years and never shared this, or one could be in denial that they actually are in love or even hoping that by possessing something of another’s might make them love you again. It is not until we realize the truth in our hearts that we repeat the cycle of incredible joy and excruciating pain with either different people or the same person that some relationships never end.
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