“I’m sorry for all the shit I’ve put through,” I started as she unlocked the door to her apartment. She was startled at first but relaxed when she recognised my voice.
“What are you doing here?” she turned around as I took the last drag of my cigarette. She was a mess, but then again, so was I.
“I’ve been waiting for you. Y’know…”
“No, I don’t.”
“I thought we could talk since…” I didn’t know what else to say, so I took a few steps toward her.
“Look, it’s almost six. I’ve had a long night. I need to shower, and the sun will rise real soon.”
“Sunrises were our thing.” I smiled, hoping to disarm her, but she looked me dead straight in the eyes.
“Were.”
“Okay, I get it. But please… let me in.” For a second, I was expecting her to slap me across the face like she had done the night before, but she ushered me in. I knew her apartment like the back of my hand. Everything was exactly like how I last saw it almost a year ago. We used to be inseparable, but things were painfully different, and we hadn’t spoken since. Well, not really, as there was the episode last night where we exchanged profanities and poured drinks on each other, and we were eventually kicked out of the bar where Dev’s farewell party was being held. She said she’d stopped counting the days since we last spoke because you get over it quicker when you stop counting the time after a breakup. She probably got that from those girly magazines she read; it’s a load of rubbish. From the profanities she hurled my way the night before, she was suppressing it all.
I went to the kitchen and found her fiddling about with some glasses. I sat on the counter – I knew she hated that.
“Want something to drink?”
“What do you have?”
“The usual.” She held up a bottle of whisky.
“Sure. No ice.” I chuckled. She measured the liquid into two tumblers and slid one across the kitchen table, just out of my reach. So, I got off the counter, grabbed the glass and sipped, “maybe I’ll have some ice.”
“Fresh out.” she shrugged.
I followed her to the lounge; she was on the couch, flipping through a magazine aimlessly. I started to play around on her iPod, and The Cardigans came on.
“How did you get here?”
“Meter taxi. You?”
“Oh, they let me in after you disappeared. So, I got a lift with Zee and them.”
“That’s cool…”
“Yeah…” I caught her mouthing the part where the song goes:
and if you want me I’m your country
Before she took a sip of her whisky. She turned to me and said, “So, you’re here?”
“Yeah, I came to apologise and see if-“
“Really?”
“That’s the thing, though, I came here so we could-“
She didn’t let me finish. Instead, she went on this rant about how I couldn’t blame her for thinking I had planned all of last night’s events. Granted, I’m not too keen on Dev’s pretentious crowd, but the minute I found she was going, I knew I had to be there and do something; the only thing was that I didn’t know what I was going to do, but whichever way I ended up where I wanted to be, at her place with Nina Persson and the company providing an apt soundtrack.
“You can’t act like that, especially after you disappeared a year ago!” She got up to light a cigarette and stood at the balcony.
…
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